Breaking Up With Community
Membership in the trans community has roughly the same half-life as Thorium-228: within about two years, most people leave.
That’s not because they detransition. Although not unheard-of (and certainly extensively discussed by journalists), detransitioners form only a minute percentage of people who’ve ever identified as trans (and an even smaller share of those who pursued transition long enough to receive any medical interventions). But most trans people, despite being happy with the choice to transition, still end up dropping out of the organized trans community.
They stop attending support groups and social events, step away from activist commitments, and go inactive on Facebook groups. Not many people stick around once they’re past the fraught early-transition period.
When I first got involved in the community, I’d heard that was the case, but I figured I’d buck the trend. My politics were radical and my contempt for “assimilationism” was acute. The cis world was corrupt and oppressive. Trans culture represented a revolutionary alternative. I assured myself I’d never become so complacent, so conservative, as to turn my back on my people now that I’d found them. I loved the community patriotically, almost chauvinistically. I was finally home.